Only read this if you like reading other people's ridiculously long boring journal entries

Can I just say that I love my two little guys. Chase has lost several bottom teeth, but his top front ones held out all year. He finally lost a top one today. He looks all cute and toothless and silly. Logan, well, I love the kid, but he is going to be four in four months and he refuses to poo in the potty. He seems to be terrified of the idea. And he poos 3 times a day. I'm so so so so so sick of changing him. He doesn't think he can do it. He won't try. He just keeps pooing in his trunks. I can't win. If I put underwear on him, I end up washing the chunkies out. (grossest thing ever) If I put pull-ups on him, its easier for me, but he'll get lazy and quit tinkling in the toilet. I'm just about sick of it and I've tried everything. And anytime I mention anything, he starts singing to himself and looking around at the bathroom walls. (Tuning me out) I know I've got to quit mentioning it. He'll poo when he's ready, yada yada yada. He doesn't care.

Anyone want to count how many times I said poo?



Wow. August is almost here. I have been experiencing two different emotions as this new month so hastily approaches. Elation and stress. August 27 means that my hubby has completed two very difficult years of Physician Assistant School. Only four more weeks left. I am more than excited to be done playing the role of the PA student's widow. I am more than excited to have to get used to sleeping in the same bed with the hubby for more than a few consecutive nights. Who knew I'd get so used to sleeping by myself that when he comes home, I sleep terribly. It's like being a newlywed all over again, getting used to someone in bed with you. (Minus the physical exhaustion a newly wed faces, enabling better sleep :)

So, with only four weeks of school left, it quickly shifts us from being students to being UNEMPLOYED. And apparently you can't just up and get hired right away. You have to take the board certification test, but not for a week until after graduation. Then you have to wait weeks to get your results. Then, you've got to apply for state licensure. That's going to possibly keep us unemployed for longer than I'd like. (Worry)

We've been scouring over the job postings for awhile. There are some jobs out there, but the economy has definitely put a hold on many companies hiring. And not that many hospitals and clinics want a newby grad. We are just holding out with lots of faith and hope that someone is going to want us...and hopefully we will want them too. There's been a few people interested, but it has been the longest drawn out process. These places call now and again, but then they'll wait a month before contacting you again. Nothing is on the ball, which is driving my hubby crazy. I just hope we'll end up in a decent place that will be good for my children to be. I really want my hubby to enjoy his job, and I hope they don't work him to death like many hospitals do. I hope there's a few fun things to do in the area, because we have not had much fun in a long time. We deserve it.

So "yeah" to almost being done. "Hmmm" to coming unemployment. "Drats" to the loan repayment bills that will soon be coming. (The number is so large, I've had to numb myself to it) To anyone who is considering going to PA school, don't let it shock you when you find that it costs you somewhere from 1/2 to 2/3rds of what a house costs. (And don't be thinking of a cheap housing area) We are going to be poor for a long time. Unless someone wants to pay our loans for us? Any takers?

I shall remind myself, that as we made the decision to go to school, it was a very prayerful one. In consideration of the time and money involved, we were given peaceful confirmation by the spirit that it was a good decision for our family. We were meant to do this. So despite all my worries and concerns about this or that, I know the Lord will bless us and everything will turn out in a way that will be beneficial. There's never been a case in our life when things have not turned out. And every single job we've ever gotten has come at the last moment, when we were freaking out. So I assume, what's the harm with another job coming at the last second, or even beyond it. It's all we know. But the waiting...oh...its a killer.

Expectancy is not your friend.

And as for our summer- I've enjoyed it. Jonny was home recently and he took us up to the mountains. I love love love the mountains. It's just so peaceful and comforting and green just happens to be my favorite soothing color. The mountains are some form of renewal for me...and I'm able to go back the the ugly flat land I'm living in.

These mountains didn't have a smooth rushing river. It was wild and noisy, and full of small, white frothy rapids. Invigorating.

I dug it.