It's a new year. May it will be a happy one.

I actually stayed up till midnight for the new year for the first time in a long time. Me and Jonny are early to bed type of folks. Midnight? Heck no.

But by accident, we got captured into watching a tv show we enjoy that we discovered was on really late. Back to back episodes, baby. Before we knew it, it was midnight. I was tired at 10:30. I'm surprised at myself.

Anyway, it's been an exhausting transition into the new year. A huge move to Utah, for a new job in mid October. Excitement for getting a paycheck. We got three of them and were starting to feel pretty good about the future, and then the bomb was dropped. About six weeks into this new job, the clinic informed Jon that they were not doing well financially because patients were not paying the bills. They were dropping Jon's hours by half. For who knows how long.

Just so you know, that's a big big BIG paycut. The type that makes you freak out about some things like, hmmm, we can't pay our home rental on that.

So I have felt an assortment of feelings: Resentment. Annoyance. Fear. Confusion. Sadness.
And I've been on my knees a lot. Initially, I felt like I was right back where I left off when Jon graduated college and we could not find a job...things felt very very hard and I was pushed to my limit. Luckily, I'm not freaking out like I did then, because there is at least some income vs nothing.

Anyway, I know that we were supposed to take the job. It felt right. It felt like a blessing. I don't know why this is happening, but I'm hopeful there is a good reason for it. It was cruel to be blessed for only six weeks, then have it taken away. It wasn't long enough.

(Aren't I a whiner?)

So despite all this crap, I really do hope that the new year brings blessings that our family needs. And that I will learn to have more patience. I thought I had really learned about patience already, but apparently, the Lord is not done with me yet.

I do know that things will work out. I don't know how or why or when. But I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Only the Lord knows how long that tunnel is.